Customer Service?

Greetings!

I had to share this because I could not believe how I was treated at my friendly, neighborhood Borders this past weekend.

I went into Borders and purchased 1 book and 2 magazines. The magazines were $5.95 and $8.95. I paid with cash, which is unusual because I rarely have cash on me. My daughter and the baby and I left there and stopped at CVS (drug store) on the way home. When we stopped I looked at the receipt and realized that the magazine for $5.95 wasn't there, instead, I had been charged $9.99 for another item I hadn't purchased, it looked like candy.

I returned and was treated as if I were trying to steal the cach drawer. The girl explains how magazines are rung up. I don't care! Then she calls the assistant manager, who explains the same thing. Again, not my problem. I don't know how the error was made, but I was just here, this is what I purchased and can you give me the difference. Rather than fixing the problem with any measure of aplomb, I was treated as if I had just stolen something and was trying to get cash for a quick fix.

So, as I am standing there the boy manager gives me the form to fill out that you would get if you were returning something without a receipt and then proceeds to issue the difference on a Return Gift Card.

OK, for those of you who don't know, MOST times, these cards are issued for returns without receipts and especially when it could have been stolen merchandise. Not in every store, but in Borders they are. Now, I have seen thefts where someone came into a store with a receipt, picked up the same item and returned it. But, this?

I wasn't returning anything. I just wanted the cashier to correct her error.

I was treated like I had just pilfered the entire Harry Potter shipment.

I was treated like a liar and a thief.

I was disrespected, just because the employees felt that they could.

I spoke to the actual Manager, and she nodded intently and gave me a coupon for $5 off my next purchase. Is she serious?

Two days later I got a call that the book that I reserved was in.

It is the latest Daniel Silva, and I am so looking forward to that book....I guess I will have to ride over to Barnes and Noble to buy it.

Peace

Simple Delights

This is my favorite part of Cuyahoga Valley National Park

It is called Brandywine Falls. It is calming, peaceful and relaxing to be in this valley, listening to the powerful water.

My heart is heavy for the family of Jessie Marie Davis. May they eventually find peace.

Refueling

I am guessing that I should apologize for not really feeling like blogging lately.

But I won't.

I don't feel like it (apologizing or blogging).

I am sad and angry. I am lost and lonely.

I am trying to enjoy summer, so far I only love the rain and fresh fruit.

I am trying to keep my head up.

I don't feel witty, or clever, or insightful.

I just am not good company of late.

I really don't want to talk about the problem, so it leaves me with little to say.

So, I will say that I miss you all. Which is strange since I don't really know you. But there is something to be said for sharing these posts, divulging the personal to perfect strangers and finding in that a kinship.

I mean I have a wicked green thumb, and all my house plants need emergency surgery. I am just very...tired. Tired is not the correct word, but it's what I find myself saying lately. Even though I have actually been sleeping well.

As a trivial aside, I will add that I recognize that carbs do not help me at all when I am like this.

I need to refuel. Nourish my self.

Right now, I am as blank as the watercolor paper in my art room. So, I may link to someone who is actually clever, or post a picture or an old posting until I shake this off.

I felt I owed an explanation.

P.S. I do have a few comments about Rosie....but she gives me such a headache, it can keep.

Relationships

I had lunch and coffee with my friend and ex-partner today. We talked for hours about everything under the sun. I am happy that we have come to the point where we can be friends. It was not easy. We loved each other, that was never the problem, but that does not mean that two people are suited for each other. We were not.

During the break up, I would ask her if she thought we would be friends down the line and she gave me an absolute and resounding no. I am glad today that she was wrong. I cherish her friendship. I am proud of where she is in her life. I cheer her triumphs. It is an amazing place to be, given where we were some years ago. We were together nearly 8 years (7 years and 10 months). I could not imagine walking away from her and never having contact with her again. I could not imagine us not being able to have a conversation. I am so glad that we have gotten here.

It was not easy or instantaneous. It took years. It took time, space, and mutual respect. I am always amazed at people who have a break-up and then, in the space of a month or two, are "friends". I mean some relationships can be this way, but often you need a period of time where the person is out of your life for a little while. You need to get your bearings and be ok.

There has been enough space and time for us to get past the drama. Neither of us are romantically interested in the other. We wish each other happiness and fulfillment. I know that my ex-partner would never disrespect my relationship; she knows the same goes for me.

I was dating someone who, I felt, was playing a game with her ex (who still had feelings for her). She would never answer the questions I had about that relationship. I have enough experience to know that what we cherish, we protect. She did not seem to think my concerns deserved a real, grown-up, honest discussion. The lesson for me was that whether there was something going on or not, I deserved to be respected enough for her to sit down and have the conversation with me.

I don't want games. I want someone who is able to be real with me like I am real with them. I want someone who can call me on my shit, and expects the same of me. I want a woman, who despite any labels, knows that we are both womyn. The point of dating is to get to know someone and allow them to get to know you. This allows us to figure out if we want to continue with a more serious relationship or not. How can you start a relationship without being real about who you really are and how you feel? Even if it is new to you, if you are faced with something different and it's clear that the games are not working, why not try something different.

Now I am ready to move on. I am praying that I can find someone real. I am praying that I can find my forever love. Someone not phased by my sarcasm, and who appreciates that I have no preconceived notion of who she is. I want someone who has a big heart, who is emotionally mature. I want for someone who will stand beside me like I stand beside her. I want someone who is affectionate. I want someone who understands that I like my space sometimes. I want someone who will love me curves and all; warts and all. I want a grown-up, sexy, intelligent, funny, relaxed, honest, forgiving, healthy, beautiful love.

what a day

Well, I was right to be concerned about the baby. She was diagnosed with intussusception. It's crazy, tuesday she began to feel better. Then today she was sick again. Pobrecita, she was miserable. Would not keep liquids; dehydrated; restless.

I had to insist that the doctors really look at her. She just seemed content while sitting on my lap, but she was really lethargic.

The radiologist was able to correct the problem. She has perked up considerably. She's in the hospital overnight (which I hate).

She will come home tomorrow.

Where I am right this moment...

I just finished a light lunch of tuna salad, wasa crisps, raspberries, a cup of coffee and water. I feel good.

I am writing and that makes me happy.

I am concerned about Jada; she's sick today. First time really and she's limp and pathetic.

I am lonely and not calling anyone. So, I must not be too lonely.

I have not been sleeping properly for the last week or so. Hope this passes soon, its been a while since I have had insomnia.

I have cooked my dinner for work tonight: mixed greens salad w/turkey, onion, carrot and tomato, home-made lentil soup, raspberries, and strawberries.

I have lost about 9 pounds in the past 3 weeks.

And, right now I am feeling fine.

Tend That Inward Fire

I went out dancing with my friend Melissa on Saturday night. We always have a good time. We are carving out a fantastic friendship. I am very happy for it. I don't have many friends, and that is something I have been actively trying to change. The problem is that I prefer real people around me. I like womyn who will call me on my bullshit and tell me when I am wrong. I like people mature enough to understand my struggles. I like mature, honest people. It is not always easy to find.

But I digress. After dancing, we went to breakfast. This is often the best part of the night because we talk about whatever is going on: work, dates, girlfriends, children. We talk about everything. A group of young men came in and were seated in the booth across the aisle and half a booth length back, and in the booth in front of them was an older gentleman, he said he's 70.

One of the young men came over and introduced himself to us as Caleb. He said that he and his friends had been to a bar in the Tremont (read a bit trendy) area and had a great time; asked where we'd been and if we were having a good night. Then, the six of us had a conversation that was delightful. We talked about how people don't talk to each other anymore. We debated about whether or not two people watching the same glorious sunset/sunrise were relating to one another. (My opinion is that though they stand at the same spot and are moved by the beauty before them, it does not mean that they will relate to one another at all.) We discussed whether you can find something to which you can relate in everyone, even people considered to be evil. We talked about how rare it is to have people even look you in the eye and smile or say good day.

During the conversation, Caleb mentioned that he is an artist. Which I knew the moment he mentioned the sunset/sunrise. He did not have to label himself an artist, I just knew it. I felt it. I felt it when he walked by to sit down. I saw it in his beautiful, soft brown eyes. I felt it in his handshake. I knew it when he walked up to us and introduced himself, asked questions and truly listened to our opinions. Amazing.

I had just hours prior laughed at myself because I realized that I am an artist and writer no matter how long it's been since I have written or painted anything. It does not change the fact that I analyze the colors of the morning sky while driving home from work. It does not alter my love for words. It does not change who I am, how I move, or the way I see the world. Some things just are.
Just as sure as I could see Caleb's fire in his eyes. I wonder if I will be able to see that in myself, or if others do. And I find myself thinking of Van Gogh's words "should one tend that inward fire, turn to oneself for strength, wait patiently...for the moment when someone who wants to comes and sits down beside one's fire and perhaps stays on? Let him who believes in God await the moment that will sooner or later arrive."

Amazing. It seems to me that we all have that fire. Often we unknowingly and recklessly share it with those who would put it out.

This quote means to me that God/The Creator/The Universe will provide just what we need, we just have to be willing to wait for it. I have never been patient. But I did not have any clue that Caleb would be set before me so that I can see someone else's inward fire burning. I saw in Caleb a fire that has been tended and my God, how gloriously it burns. I feel sorry for anyone who has him in their presence and misses true beauty. I feel sorry for us all for allowing beautiful human beings to pass us everyday without even making eye contact, without smiling, without relating. And, I feel sorry for those who have that kind of fire and have left it unattended.



Peace

Ache

OK, I finally finished a poem I started late last summer. I am stuck however. I cannot tell if it makes sense to anyone else so if you could help I would appreciate it. I am not trying to be cryptic at all and I do not think its genius. It is however one of the few real things that I have written in a long time. So, be honest. It does not mean that I will change it, but I need to know.

Peace
storm.


Ache


Moonless nights made longer by the memory
Of loving you strongly, surely. This troubled terrain
mocks me, pillows filled with dreams of you.

Ghosts of nights gone by ride me into day.
I am the wrong kind of tired; sleepless
for the wrong reasons; ridden the wrong way.
Glorious were the nights we slept not at all.

Restless days of news to share, without you.
Every step uneasy, this foundation is splintered now.
This pitiless ring promising the certainty of you
laughs until dawn breaks.

My heart open enough to want you happy;
Selfish enough to wish it were with me.
Here in the dark, for you, I ache.

102 Things.

1. I am very opinionated (just wanted to start you out slowly; no big surprises).
2. I am a mom. I take it very seriously; this is very funny to my daughter.
3. I used to be a watercolorist. I desperately want to be one again.
4. I still analyze the colors of things I think I could paint:sexy eyes, beautiful skies, or my neighbor's beautiful and riotous flowers.
5. I sometimes forget to relax and loosen up.
6. Sometimes I can be extremely silly, especially when my daughter is around. Hence #2.
7. I love to sing while I drive.
8. I love to read.
9. I like most kinds of music.
10. I think my dreadlocks are damn sexy!
11. There is nothing sexier than an intelligent woman.
12. I procrastinate. It's almost a science.
13. I love to dance.
14. I enjoy going out to the bar, and watching the drama unfold (so long as I am not in it).
15. Kissing is very important.
16. Cuddling is more important.
17. Despite all the bumps and roadblocks, I really do believe life is beautiful.
18. I have very few, close friends.
19. Ignorance annoys me.
20. This is why G.W. annoys me.
21. NO, I am not my daughter's friend.
22. I love learning new things.
23. I used to dream of being a doctor.
24. Now I dream of playing doctor.
25. Irises, lilies, and gerbera daisies are my favorite flowers.
26. I cry during sappy movies.
27. Sometimes, I laugh until I cry.
28. I do not handle my anger well.
29. I swear fluently.
30. Sometimes, I 'mother' people who aren't my daughter. I am working on this.
31. I was a jazz fan before I could write.
32. I am a southpaw.
33. I have very few people who I can count on when I am down.
34. I love my profession.
35. I can be surprisingly shy.
36. When I drive, I try to take the most beautiful route, whenever possible.
37. Music is vital.
38. My XM Radio is irreplacable.
39. I have finally stopped counting my childhood scars as my shame.
40. I love shopping for purses.
41. I really like people who own up to their mistakes/issues.
42. It is not easy for me to let my guard down and be loved.
43. I am very independent, though I love it when I don't have to be.
44. I love to write but am very reluctant to share my writing with others.
45. I allowed my creativity to be a casualty in a senseless war. I am hoping it makes a full recovery.
46. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
47. I am fiercly private. (Can't tell it by this blog, can you?)
48. I am curvy, fleshy, zaftig. And still sexy. (wink)
49. I am fluent in sarcasm.
50. I used to be quite proficient in Korean, 18 years ago.
51. I want to learn french and russian.
52. I am shamelessly addicted to caffeine.
53. I have a green thumb, but am intimidated by gardening.
54. Cleveland depresses me. Not just the climate but the mentality of many of the people here.
55. The person who hurt/betrayed me most is my ex-partner's daughter. After loving her with my whole heart for nearly 8 years, she introduced me as her "mother's partner" one evening. It was a slap in the face and the end of our relationship. I left her mother not long after (for other reasons). After four years, I still cannot look at her.
56. I try to maintain a relationship with my mother because I still carry guilt about being estranged from my father when he passed. I do not want to go through that again.
57. I am not a risk taker.
58. I want to move to a different climate, a warmer climate. Much warmer.
59. I want to design a line of greeting cards and make my own calendars.
60. I didn't learn to really drive until I was 23.
61. Sunrises are magical.
62. I think math is fun.
63. I believe in ghosts.
64. Arrogance is a turn-off.
65. I like westerns (unless the indians are the enemy), tennis, football and golf.
66. When I read books to little kids, I love to make up voices for the characters.
67. I cannot watch horror films.
68. I believe in God.
69. One of my childhood dreams was to become an actress on Broadway.
70. I can carry a tune...........if there is a handle on it.
71. I like trying new recipes.
72. I do not know how to play chess. But am determined to learn.
73. I am horrible at pool, darts, basketball, and bowling. But, I enjoy being able to laugh at myself when I play.
74. Depression is a very frequent companion.
75. I am terribly stubborn.
76. I am bossy. It's mostly an occupational thing, I tell people what to do.
77. I rarely think I am wrong. But, will admit it when I am.
78. I love it when I get to the point in a relationship when I am no longer very self-conscious about getting undressed in front of my love, and it does not matter if I shaved. This takes a bit of time.
79. I am not materialistic.
80. It is not easy for me to give myself completely in a relationship.
81. I want to horrify my suburbanite neighbors by painting a mural on my garage doors.
82. I get excited about learning new things.
83. I cry when I watch mushy movies.
84. I find that the people I like most are often readers.
85. I can be obsessive about words, I like to use the exact word I want. Dark won't work if obscure is what I am looking for. I won't say blue, if something is turqoise.
86. I have lived in my house nearly 2 years and my bedroom walls are still white.
87. Have I mentioned that intelligence is very sexy? Mmeow!
88. I like my own company.
89. I was molested by an older cousin at a very young age.
90. I drive fast; not recklessly but fast.
91. I can go a week without eating meat.
92. I was very quiet as a child; and I always had a book in my hand.
93. I love living near Lake Erie. I find the water relaxing and peaceful.
94. If something is bothering me, I often get quiet and think about it for a couple of days before I say anything.
95. I rarely overtly flirt. I am often surprised when I am hit on.
96. Most days, I would rather listen to music or read than watch television.
97. I am very affectionate.
98. It has taken since February for me to complete this posting. I don't think I am very interesting.
99. I do not like being in a crowd of people where I only really know one or two people.
100. I don't like being single, but that fact won't make me stay.
101. I blush fairly easily.
102. I am a grandmother. My granddaughter, Jada Rose is my joy. I would level this tired city for her.