Saturday, October 22, 2011

Did Dante Know You?

Acheron - the river of woe
Cocytus - the river of lamentation
Phlegethon - the river of fire
Lethe - the river of forgetfulness
Styx - the river of hate

Acheron and Cocytus, woe and lamentation.  I finally escaped their muck and mire.
Phlegethon, the fire. Oh, I have been forged and refined by the heat.
Lethe, forgetfulness. Who knew hell could offer a blessing?
Styx, hate.  This is where I take my leave, and pray these waters leave me be.
Even your brand of hades cannot take away the god in me.

Monday, July 18, 2011


looks ahead;
is not fearful;
isn't resentful;
doesn't cut;
isn't a weapon;
doesn't hurt;
is healthy;
is sexy;
is playful;
is funny;
talks late into the night:
laughs often;
does not tear up the very foundation on which it's built;
doesn't cut with words or deeds;
isn't passive-aggressive;
is a soft place;
offers cushion from the bruises the world can offer;
doesn't strangle joy;
blushes red with passion again and again, and again;
allows us to shelter each other;
dries tears;
rubs backs;
takes joy in anothers joy;
is naughty;
loves back;
is beautiful;
is a gift;
doesn't look back;
is worth the gamble. Get lucky;
is loose and free;
is more precious than gold;
is free;
is Free;

Friday, May 27, 2011

Happy Memorial Day

My post for this weekend is on Indigo Storm.

Have a beautiful weekend.

If you know any Veterans, let them know you appreciate them.  If you know any who could have been exposed to Agent Orange, love them enough to tell them to have their doctor check them for kidney disease.



Friday, April 1, 2011

what melts away...

With the exception of my job and my family, of course, my life looks nothing today like it did a few years ago. I am very different; physically, emotionally and spiritually different. I feel less than I was, like I have lost so very much. I look back on what I knew for sure, and now I have to laugh because I am not sure of anything.

I find myself alone and starting over. I am here with nothing but plants and boxes. I need to get used to being by myself. I don't have to take care of anything but my plants, besides myself of course. I hate coming home to an empty apartment, but I sleep better than I did before. I have a better view; hopefully my outlook will follow.

I have been through the deepest valley, deeper than anything I could ever imagine.  I'm not through it yet, but God is great and now I think I can see a faint light.  The pieces I can see of myself are unrecognizable. Sometimes, I think I shouldn't move further into the light because I am afraid of what I will see.  I have been lost in that valley for well over a year, with some companions- wine, sorrow, immobility, and bitter tears. Did I mention the wine?  It has been a long time since I felt like the old me.  I felt better for a while but sabotaged it--amazing what depression will tell you.

So, now what? What do you do when you feel like a stranger in your own life? When you emerge from the storm cellar only to find a foreign landscape, how do you begin?  I realize that I was a poison to everything and everyone.  I have done irreparable damage to relationships and my career. I realize that the best thing to do is take a handful of pills or jump over the balcony take it a day at a time, be kind to myself, ease off the wine, and pray that when I make it into the light, i still have the parts of me that I used to like.