Ache

OK, I finally finished a poem I started late last summer. I am stuck however. I cannot tell if it makes sense to anyone else so if you could help I would appreciate it. I am not trying to be cryptic at all and I do not think its genius. It is however one of the few real things that I have written in a long time. So, be honest. It does not mean that I will change it, but I need to know.

Peace
storm.


Ache


Moonless nights made longer by the memory
Of loving you strongly, surely. This troubled terrain
mocks me, pillows filled with dreams of you.

Ghosts of nights gone by ride me into day.
I am the wrong kind of tired; sleepless
for the wrong reasons; ridden the wrong way.
Glorious were the nights we slept not at all.

Restless days of news to share, without you.
Every step uneasy, this foundation is splintered now.
This pitiless ring promising the certainty of you
laughs until dawn breaks.

My heart open enough to want you happy;
Selfish enough to wish it were with me.
Here in the dark, for you, I ache.

102 Things.

1. I am very opinionated (just wanted to start you out slowly; no big surprises).
2. I am a mom. I take it very seriously; this is very funny to my daughter.
3. I used to be a watercolorist. I desperately want to be one again.
4. I still analyze the colors of things I think I could paint:sexy eyes, beautiful skies, or my neighbor's beautiful and riotous flowers.
5. I sometimes forget to relax and loosen up.
6. Sometimes I can be extremely silly, especially when my daughter is around. Hence #2.
7. I love to sing while I drive.
8. I love to read.
9. I like most kinds of music.
10. I think my dreadlocks are damn sexy!
11. There is nothing sexier than an intelligent woman.
12. I procrastinate. It's almost a science.
13. I love to dance.
14. I enjoy going out to the bar, and watching the drama unfold (so long as I am not in it).
15. Kissing is very important.
16. Cuddling is more important.
17. Despite all the bumps and roadblocks, I really do believe life is beautiful.
18. I have very few, close friends.
19. Ignorance annoys me.
20. This is why G.W. annoys me.
21. NO, I am not my daughter's friend.
22. I love learning new things.
23. I used to dream of being a doctor.
24. Now I dream of playing doctor.
25. Irises, lilies, and gerbera daisies are my favorite flowers.
26. I cry during sappy movies.
27. Sometimes, I laugh until I cry.
28. I do not handle my anger well.
29. I swear fluently.
30. Sometimes, I 'mother' people who aren't my daughter. I am working on this.
31. I was a jazz fan before I could write.
32. I am a southpaw.
33. I have very few people who I can count on when I am down.
34. I love my profession.
35. I can be surprisingly shy.
36. When I drive, I try to take the most beautiful route, whenever possible.
37. Music is vital.
38. My XM Radio is irreplacable.
39. I have finally stopped counting my childhood scars as my shame.
40. I love shopping for purses.
41. I really like people who own up to their mistakes/issues.
42. It is not easy for me to let my guard down and be loved.
43. I am very independent, though I love it when I don't have to be.
44. I love to write but am very reluctant to share my writing with others.
45. I allowed my creativity to be a casualty in a senseless war. I am hoping it makes a full recovery.
46. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
47. I am fiercly private. (Can't tell it by this blog, can you?)
48. I am curvy, fleshy, zaftig. And still sexy. (wink)
49. I am fluent in sarcasm.
50. I used to be quite proficient in Korean, 18 years ago.
51. I want to learn french and russian.
52. I am shamelessly addicted to caffeine.
53. I have a green thumb, but am intimidated by gardening.
54. Cleveland depresses me. Not just the climate but the mentality of many of the people here.
55. The person who hurt/betrayed me most is my ex-partner's daughter. After loving her with my whole heart for nearly 8 years, she introduced me as her "mother's partner" one evening. It was a slap in the face and the end of our relationship. I left her mother not long after (for other reasons). After four years, I still cannot look at her.
56. I try to maintain a relationship with my mother because I still carry guilt about being estranged from my father when he passed. I do not want to go through that again.
57. I am not a risk taker.
58. I want to move to a different climate, a warmer climate. Much warmer.
59. I want to design a line of greeting cards and make my own calendars.
60. I didn't learn to really drive until I was 23.
61. Sunrises are magical.
62. I think math is fun.
63. I believe in ghosts.
64. Arrogance is a turn-off.
65. I like westerns (unless the indians are the enemy), tennis, football and golf.
66. When I read books to little kids, I love to make up voices for the characters.
67. I cannot watch horror films.
68. I believe in God.
69. One of my childhood dreams was to become an actress on Broadway.
70. I can carry a tune...........if there is a handle on it.
71. I like trying new recipes.
72. I do not know how to play chess. But am determined to learn.
73. I am horrible at pool, darts, basketball, and bowling. But, I enjoy being able to laugh at myself when I play.
74. Depression is a very frequent companion.
75. I am terribly stubborn.
76. I am bossy. It's mostly an occupational thing, I tell people what to do.
77. I rarely think I am wrong. But, will admit it when I am.
78. I love it when I get to the point in a relationship when I am no longer very self-conscious about getting undressed in front of my love, and it does not matter if I shaved. This takes a bit of time.
79. I am not materialistic.
80. It is not easy for me to give myself completely in a relationship.
81. I want to horrify my suburbanite neighbors by painting a mural on my garage doors.
82. I get excited about learning new things.
83. I cry when I watch mushy movies.
84. I find that the people I like most are often readers.
85. I can be obsessive about words, I like to use the exact word I want. Dark won't work if obscure is what I am looking for. I won't say blue, if something is turqoise.
86. I have lived in my house nearly 2 years and my bedroom walls are still white.
87. Have I mentioned that intelligence is very sexy? Mmeow!
88. I like my own company.
89. I was molested by an older cousin at a very young age.
90. I drive fast; not recklessly but fast.
91. I can go a week without eating meat.
92. I was very quiet as a child; and I always had a book in my hand.
93. I love living near Lake Erie. I find the water relaxing and peaceful.
94. If something is bothering me, I often get quiet and think about it for a couple of days before I say anything.
95. I rarely overtly flirt. I am often surprised when I am hit on.
96. Most days, I would rather listen to music or read than watch television.
97. I am very affectionate.
98. It has taken since February for me to complete this posting. I don't think I am very interesting.
99. I do not like being in a crowd of people where I only really know one or two people.
100. I don't like being single, but that fact won't make me stay.
101. I blush fairly easily.
102. I am a grandmother. My granddaughter, Jada Rose is my joy. I would level this tired city for her.

while I'm on the subject of idiots....

The caption beneath this picture in the NYPost states:

GOT WHUPPED:Dwayne Buckle leaves court yesterday after testifying against four of the seven lesbians he says pummeled and stabbed him.

I do not know how I missed this story, so thanks to Carla for posting this update. Click on the NY Post hotlink above to read the story.

My first reaction is to second guess the severity of his beating.

Yes. I said it. I question the severity of it.

I know.
"Storm, violence is just wrong! No matter what, it's wrong."
Well, yes and no.

Violence is wrong.
But, see there are some people for whom turning the other cheek signifies an opportunity to punch you on that side of your face as well. Some people are not smart enough to read the signs.

Now, take a look at that picture again. (I 'll wait.)

That is not someone who can read subtle signs, and if he is able then he ignores them. See, there have been enough women raped and killed just because someone felt he had the power to do it.

Sometimes a person gets tired of being belittled, disrespected, and demeaned.

So, he is the poster boy for 'don't mess with lesbians, they can kick your ass'.

I think it suits him.

..nappy headed hoes...

Just who is the nappy headed hoe?



It speaks for itself.


I have a blog entry on Indigo Storm discussing this issue further.

Happy Belated Easter

Happy belated Easter
I am still digging out!



This is not my back yard, but you get the picture. I had a little less snow than this, but only by about 4-5 inches.

Peace.