I find myself alone and starting over. I am here with nothing but plants and boxes. I need to get used to being by myself. I don't have to take care of anything but my plants, besides myself of course. I hate coming home to an empty apartment, but I sleep better than I did before. I have a better view; hopefully my outlook will follow.
I have been through the deepest valley, deeper than anything I could ever imagine. I'm not through it yet, but God is great and now I think I can see a faint light. The pieces I can see of myself are unrecognizable. Sometimes, I think I shouldn't move further into the light because I am afraid of what I will see. I have been lost in that valley for well over a year, with some companions- wine, sorrow, immobility, and bitter tears. Did I mention the wine? It has been a long time since I felt like the old me. I felt better for a while but sabotaged it--amazing what depression will tell you.
So, now what? What do you do when you feel like a stranger in your own life? When you emerge from the storm cellar only to find a foreign landscape, how do you begin? I realize that I was a poison to everything and everyone. I have done irreparable damage to relationships and my career. I realize that the best thing to do is