Going Into The Closet

It was not necessarily my intention to discuss my sexuality, because frankly I don't think that it is anyone's business. I am not ashamed of who I am, I just choose my battles. I visited a website that, by it's title, is for gay women of color. It is published and edited by a woman who writes a monthly editorial. Well, this month she decides to say that she is ashamed to be gay and that if there were ever some sort of register, she certainly would not put her name on it. She is ashamed to be considered, because of her sexuality, of the same ilk as pedophiles and rapists. She is more concerned with the plight of 'Afrikans'.

First of all, there are ignorant people everywhere. Just because someone thinks that they already know who you are based on a label does not make them correct. I mean no one is saying that as soon as they hear 'pedophile' that they think 'priest', would that be fair? Most prejudice grows because people who are normal, law abiding, loving, hard-working are afraid to confront the ignorant bigots around them. Most people see it as an uphill battle, but I do not define myself by what other people think. Yes, it hurts to feel that you have to hide yourself, but I refuse to carry shame because other people are prejudiced. It's like any other prejudice, based on ignorance and meant to kill your spirit. I cannot give anyone that much of myself.Rapists are concerned with controlling their victims. Rape is not primarily about the sex. The purpose is humiliation and degradation, the assertion of power and control. There are rapists and pedophiles across every division of the human race; color, class, continent, you name it and you can find some low-life who will prey upon the vulnerabilities of others.

I have found that the only time that black folk will openly discuss anyone molesting children is within the context of talking about gays. They don't know anything about incest; they won't discuss incest. They don't talk about domestic violence or any other cancer plaguing families, unless they can pin the crime on a homosexual. I know this sounds horrible, but I wish The Editor would crawl back into her closet, and I hope there is room for all of the other self-hating homosexuals like her. Next she'll be one of the people in the ex-gay church groups trying to tell everyone else how to live. If you want to get out of the life, then get out. But, this is more than just a phase, it is not a joke. I did not wake up one day and say, I think I want to be harassed, the butt of jokes and talked about at work. This is who I am. I would never, ever harm a child. Children are to be loved and protected. I think The Editor needs to take a good look at herself, is she a pedophile? I would think not. Just like being a black female does not make us all whores or lazy; it does not make us anything except women of color. We are not ALL anything, except individuals.

I hope all of the young gay women who may, mistakenly, see her as some sort of role-model realize that, unfortunately, not all people learn to accept and love themselves. She does not speak for anyone but herself, and is certainly free to do so, but I wish she would be a bit more responsible to those who may be impressionable. We already have enough people spouting hate at our young people, they don't need to hear it from someone who passed herself off as one of our own.


Peace