Tuesday, October 3, 2006


Originally Posted 11/16/05


my curiosity. I know a little about a lot of things. Just enough, generally to have a conversation with just about anyone about pretty much anything--at least enough to make some connections to steer the conversation once i get to the edge of what i know. I know better than to think i can b*s* someone really knowledgeable in areas.
i like my honesty. i don't like to be complicated by lies. the truth is i am lazy and hate to remember them. and invariably, there is always at least one person who knows the truth, and i hate to kiss ass, for any reason so the truth wins out.
i like my creativity. i like the way my mind makes connections that are not always obvious. i like the fact that i can look around my home and see paintings and ceramics that i have created. i find that my art work satisfies my desire to see particular subject matter, it relaxes me.
i like my cooking.
i like my sense of humor.
i like that i laugh until i cry.
i like that i am fiercely loyal to anyone i call friend.
i like that i love to read.
i like that i am not ashamed to march to a different drummer.
i like my green thumb, my plants are awesome.
i like the life i have built for myself.
i love my dreads. they are beautiful.

i have let my fears define and defeat me.
i hate that i work a job that i no longer feel compelled to do. I know i need to move on, but i am so afraid of not being able to make a living doing what i love. I am afraid of not being able to afford all of my creature comforts. i am rather comfortable with them.
i dislike it when i am moody. but, i am so, ok, i'm over that one already.
i dislike this weight that i have gained. oh, yeah, i'm still sexy, but i still hate it. i am not comfortable with it, so i have to work to get comfortable. but, oh yeah, these curves are hot!
i wish my circumstances were different and i could spend more time with my daughter. just free time, chillin. rather than feeling fried or rushed or being at wit's end because something unexpected has come up and i have to do it all myself.
i dislike that i don't spend time doing the things i love to do for myself. i always put those things last. see, i'm not that bright.
i wish i didn't dislike winter. months of snow and darkness. cold weather and being sick. not wanting to go outside. temperatures in the -10's. I really wish i could get over it. Winter lasts into April here....yes nearly 6 months...give me a break already! i REALLY hate winter!

What do i want to accomplish this year...get back on track to get my degree. Get back to college.


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