My body vibrates with love for you.
My eyes dance over you whenever I see you. From your eyes to your lips, and then your hands.
My arms long to hold you close to my body. I want to hold you close enough to smell you and taste you.
My hands cannot rest until I touch you. Your head and face; your arms and hands. You.
My breasts ache for your mouth, your touch.
My legs reach for you in the night. Wanting to wrap around you, keeping you close to me. Keeping you inside me.
When I think of you, my honey begins to flow. I am distracted and hungry to touch, smell, and taste you.
My love for you is real and true. It encompasses every thing. This desire for you is deep and makes me yearn for you every day.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
How to Warm Up After a Snow Storm
It seemed that most of the snow storms hit overnight while she was working. This one started while she was driving to work. Now, at six in the morning, she had to rock her car out of the foot of snow that had built up around it.
It was cold out. She was even colder after scraping the snow and ice off the car windows. Her little car slid most of the way home. Alex was patient. The advantage of trying to get home at this time of the morning is knowing that her work day is done and she can relax and try to get home safely. She watched out for everyone else though. They were trying to rush to work, even though there was no safe way to rush with the roads full of this packed snow. She called it cookie dough. It was like cookie dough, the snow on the roads; rough and lumpy enough to make most vehicles slide.
Her usual commute was 20 minutes. Today it took over an hour to get home, and another 15 to make it into the driveway. She parked and made her way into the side door. She left all her snow dampened clothing hanging in the hall. In the kitchen, she started water for tea then went into the living room and turned on the TV. It felt that she'd never thaw out.
She went into the bedroom to change out of her uniform and realized that her lover was still in bed. She looked at the covers crumpled onto her side of the bed, and felt the breeze from the open window. Her love always slept with the window opened. She watched her sleeping peacefully. Her love was usually awake before now. It must have been a restless night. The bed was a testament to it.
As she watched her sleeping. She thought of all the times she wanted to come home to someone. She thought of all the laughter they shared, the dinners they ate, their long conversations and even their quiet moments. She thought of all they shared and how she could not imagine her life without her. With each warm thought, her body thawed.
She went back downstairs and turned off the TV and the kettle. Upstairs in their room, she laid down behind her love, kissed her shoulder and held her tight. She couldn't remember ever feeling this warm before.
It was cold out. She was even colder after scraping the snow and ice off the car windows. Her little car slid most of the way home. Alex was patient. The advantage of trying to get home at this time of the morning is knowing that her work day is done and she can relax and try to get home safely. She watched out for everyone else though. They were trying to rush to work, even though there was no safe way to rush with the roads full of this packed snow. She called it cookie dough. It was like cookie dough, the snow on the roads; rough and lumpy enough to make most vehicles slide.
Her usual commute was 20 minutes. Today it took over an hour to get home, and another 15 to make it into the driveway. She parked and made her way into the side door. She left all her snow dampened clothing hanging in the hall. In the kitchen, she started water for tea then went into the living room and turned on the TV. It felt that she'd never thaw out.
She went into the bedroom to change out of her uniform and realized that her lover was still in bed. She looked at the covers crumpled onto her side of the bed, and felt the breeze from the open window. Her love always slept with the window opened. She watched her sleeping peacefully. Her love was usually awake before now. It must have been a restless night. The bed was a testament to it.
As she watched her sleeping. She thought of all the times she wanted to come home to someone. She thought of all the laughter they shared, the dinners they ate, their long conversations and even their quiet moments. She thought of all they shared and how she could not imagine her life without her. With each warm thought, her body thawed.
She went back downstairs and turned off the TV and the kettle. Upstairs in their room, she laid down behind her love, kissed her shoulder and held her tight. She couldn't remember ever feeling this warm before.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
This Is Not Lust
New Poem, your feedback welcome...
This is not lust
Wanting to taste, feel, please
Every inch of you.
It is not simply carnal
The desire to tease and be teased
As much as I want to love and be loved.
This is about love
The kind that makes me
Run you a bath,
Learn to cook your favorites,
Sleep in your pajamas.
I want to love and be loved
Until you can feel my heart
Through my fingers, my tongue, my lips.
No, Baby, this could never be as simple as lust.
This is not lust
Wanting to taste, feel, please
Every inch of you.
It is not simply carnal
The desire to tease and be teased
As much as I want to love and be loved.
This is about love
The kind that makes me
Run you a bath,
Learn to cook your favorites,
Sleep in your pajamas.
I want to love and be loved
Until you can feel my heart
Through my fingers, my tongue, my lips.
No, Baby, this could never be as simple as lust.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
To Dread or Not to Dread, That is the Question
I have been locked for 8 years and 8 months. I love my locks. I think they say something about both my strength and my vulnerability at the same time...this is probably only apparent to me. Even in my off-beat, self-indulgent, self-expression, there is the understanding that I am reaching out to the Universe, to God, and begging that the Almighty touch me. It is at once a statement and a prayer.
That is the most articulate way that I have to explain without non-verbals, like touch. This is not just a 'hairstyle'. It is a prayer. As my writing is a prayer, as my paintings are/were prayers.
9 years ago, I could not open a magazine or look at an inviting, smiling face, without seeing dreadlocks. It seemed that the Universe itself was willing me in this direction. Now, I do not feel that connection. I do not feel that pull. It is a prayer that while I cannot, truly will not say is unanswered---I will say that today it feels like a desperate plea. It seems to be a yearning that is still unfilled.
Much like the caress that never comes from a lover. That moment one hopes for when a lover, the one that you pray is THE ONE, opens the door/window/wall/whatever and lets you know that your loving, praying, cooking, sexing, crying, wanting and waiting is not in vain. That moment that lets you know that who you are is more than just 'OK'. That lets you know that they won't be the same if you leave. There is a longing unanswered when that moment does not come.
Although I love my locks, I still long for that moment. That caress from the Universe, that cradle of comfort, peace, healing. So selfish, I know but 'every living thing wants to be loved'(Shug Avery, The Color Purple). Although I will always yearn for that caress from the Universe, I no longer feel the need to carry a hairstyle to signal that longing. I just pray that this emancipation from the physical does not set me adrift spiritually or emotionally. One battle that I have to fight is that I think my locks are incredibly beautiful. I think they make people notice me. I cannot imagine what I will look like without them. And the thought of facing a humid summer without them makes me want to cry.
Peace,
Storm
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Smoke Signals
I would love some feedback.
Smoke Signals
Like Tantalus, I will my limbs to yield
With my bending to drink my fill;
With my stretching to taste your fruit.
Water up to my chest, yet drowning in this desire.
A fleeting glance and my heart swells
With hunger; and your voice whets my appetite;
With desire as your spirit sends smoke signals to mine.
Your vision ingrained, I hunger for your touch.
Like a wildfire, with you for air
Only an ocean would make me yield;
Only a tornado could quiet this flame.
Fully consumed, this body burns for you.
Like tender flint, under your hand
Gentle touches spark rousing flames;
Confident strokes ignite these walls.
You have set this house ablaze.
Barely a spark, here in the dark
My heart led here, a moth to your flame;
Your soul led to me, an ancient spirit quest fulfilled.
These smoke signals forever calling me to you.
kda,2002
Smoke Signals
Like Tantalus, I will my limbs to yield
With my bending to drink my fill;
With my stretching to taste your fruit.
Water up to my chest, yet drowning in this desire.
A fleeting glance and my heart swells
With hunger; and your voice whets my appetite;
With desire as your spirit sends smoke signals to mine.
Your vision ingrained, I hunger for your touch.
Like a wildfire, with you for air
Only an ocean would make me yield;
Only a tornado could quiet this flame.
Fully consumed, this body burns for you.
Like tender flint, under your hand
Gentle touches spark rousing flames;
Confident strokes ignite these walls.
You have set this house ablaze.
Barely a spark, here in the dark
My heart led here, a moth to your flame;
Your soul led to me, an ancient spirit quest fulfilled.
These smoke signals forever calling me to you.
kda,2002
Saturday, March 21, 2009
2009, so far
I know I had fallen off the face of the earth for a while. I am not as disciplined as I would like about this blog. So far, I have to say I like 2009. It's not perfect by any stretch, but I like it still.
I am in a good space. I am working on some things that I have wanted to do for myself for a long time. Those things that had to wait until I had raised my daughter. Actually, I have a whole shopping list and I have to figure out what to do first. This is a great spot to be in.
The New Year did bring with it some old insecurities that need to be addressed. I try to tell my loved ones that that's what they are. I miss my granddaughter every day, I tell her so. I worry about my daughter, but I am proud of her and I tell her. I am in love. That is it's own posting; I had given up. What is difficult for me is sometimes I push too hard rather than just accepting people for who they are and being patient. When I am patient, I get the most beautiful gifts. When I am impatient and concentrate on what I need, I only see things as half empty. I am trying to keep this in mind so that I do not keep tripping over it. It is not easy. I have probably talked about this very thing before.
One of the people I just love having in my life--even though she has been M.I.A. lately-- is my best friend. We just 'click'. A little over a year ago, the people I met were just so shabby that it was laughable. I started to wonder what was wrong with me. Then I decided that I would just be by myself for a while. I had actually gotten comfortable with that thought. She knew I was done before I had ever said anything. She knew it and read it on me before I ever spoke it. I appreciate that she understood how frustrated I was and was supportive. It's one thing to not meet 'that someone' but to really not meet people that I was even interested in calling...ugh. I love having a friend that understands not just the surface, but the ripples and the undertow as well. I am grateful for her friendship.
So, a year ago tomorrow, she and I were out at a party and she introduced me to someone she knew. Casual introduction, that I'm her best friend, good people, and love to dance. I knew the first time we danced that I needed to pay attention to this woman. I loved the way her hand warmed my back. I loved how secure I felt. Then, I got nervous while dancing with her. I never get nervous when I meet people. I called her that next morning, Easter Sunday. That conversation was relaxed, easy, and I have been calling back for the past year.
Being in love is good for my health. Her love is incredible. She's relaxed, laid back, and confident. I have never before been nervous about a relationship. I may be excited or over it. In love or not; never nervous. Anxious to get it right. Afraid that my cooking is not good enough, that my house is never clean enough, that I am not enough. That I am not enough. I have never before wanted to be complete in who I am, or more. She makes me want to be my best for her. Not because she is demanding or judgemental or harsh; she's none of that. And, because she is not any of those things, because she's wonderful to talk to, understanding, caring, and incredible, I want to be all of that for her.
I am so grateful that I thank God for blessing me with someone that is unphased by my dark humor, or sarcasm. I suspect that she's tired of where my insecurities take me...but somehow she weathers it. (In my defense, I had been on the wagon since early summer). I can be such an ass. She knows that too, and she's still here.
Yes, so far 2009 is alright.
Peace.
I am in a good space. I am working on some things that I have wanted to do for myself for a long time. Those things that had to wait until I had raised my daughter. Actually, I have a whole shopping list and I have to figure out what to do first. This is a great spot to be in.
The New Year did bring with it some old insecurities that need to be addressed. I try to tell my loved ones that that's what they are. I miss my granddaughter every day, I tell her so. I worry about my daughter, but I am proud of her and I tell her. I am in love. That is it's own posting; I had given up. What is difficult for me is sometimes I push too hard rather than just accepting people for who they are and being patient. When I am patient, I get the most beautiful gifts. When I am impatient and concentrate on what I need, I only see things as half empty. I am trying to keep this in mind so that I do not keep tripping over it. It is not easy. I have probably talked about this very thing before.
One of the people I just love having in my life--even though she has been M.I.A. lately-- is my best friend. We just 'click'. A little over a year ago, the people I met were just so shabby that it was laughable. I started to wonder what was wrong with me. Then I decided that I would just be by myself for a while. I had actually gotten comfortable with that thought. She knew I was done before I had ever said anything. She knew it and read it on me before I ever spoke it. I appreciate that she understood how frustrated I was and was supportive. It's one thing to not meet 'that someone' but to really not meet people that I was even interested in calling...ugh. I love having a friend that understands not just the surface, but the ripples and the undertow as well. I am grateful for her friendship.
So, a year ago tomorrow, she and I were out at a party and she introduced me to someone she knew. Casual introduction, that I'm her best friend, good people, and love to dance. I knew the first time we danced that I needed to pay attention to this woman. I loved the way her hand warmed my back. I loved how secure I felt. Then, I got nervous while dancing with her. I never get nervous when I meet people. I called her that next morning, Easter Sunday. That conversation was relaxed, easy, and I have been calling back for the past year.
Being in love is good for my health. Her love is incredible. She's relaxed, laid back, and confident. I have never before been nervous about a relationship. I may be excited or over it. In love or not; never nervous. Anxious to get it right. Afraid that my cooking is not good enough, that my house is never clean enough, that I am not enough. That I am not enough. I have never before wanted to be complete in who I am, or more. She makes me want to be my best for her. Not because she is demanding or judgemental or harsh; she's none of that. And, because she is not any of those things, because she's wonderful to talk to, understanding, caring, and incredible, I want to be all of that for her.
I am so grateful that I thank God for blessing me with someone that is unphased by my dark humor, or sarcasm. I suspect that she's tired of where my insecurities take me...but somehow she weathers it. (In my defense, I had been on the wagon since early summer). I can be such an ass. She knows that too, and she's still here.
Yes, so far 2009 is alright.
Peace.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Looking for a rockin babe!
I grew up listening to all types of music. I love R&B, soul, even country. My grandmother had a thing for Charlie Pride, oh my goodness, you just had to see her. I liked rock. I heard this band called Living Color. I fell in love. It was rock. They were awesome. The guitarist, Vernon Reid is PHENOMENAL, and the lead singer, Corey Glover, well he was just fantastic.
What I loved most was that they rocked harder and better than any band I had ever heard and to top it off, they were black. When I heard their song "Funny Vibe" I knew I would be a fan for as long as they were around.
The only thing that would have been better for me would have been to see a black female guitarist. I longed for that. To see a black woman just rockin' out. Oh my goodness.
The closest I have gotten over the years has been Meshell Ndegeocello. And, wow is she just fantastic. But, I am still looking.
When I was younger, it was one of those things that I felt would signal that we had arrived. The other thing was a black president. I never thought I'd see the latter before the former.
Shows what I know.
Peace.
What I loved most was that they rocked harder and better than any band I had ever heard and to top it off, they were black. When I heard their song "Funny Vibe" I knew I would be a fan for as long as they were around.
The only thing that would have been better for me would have been to see a black female guitarist. I longed for that. To see a black woman just rockin' out. Oh my goodness.
The closest I have gotten over the years has been Meshell Ndegeocello. And, wow is she just fantastic. But, I am still looking.
When I was younger, it was one of those things that I felt would signal that we had arrived. The other thing was a black president. I never thought I'd see the latter before the former.
Shows what I know.
Peace.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Weather Forecast
Weather Forecast for NE Ohio tonight.
Tonight: Occasional rain. Low 46F. Winds SSE at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of rain 70%.
Storm's Forecast
Tonight: Occasional blushing with a 100% chance of happiness. Plentiful clouds for floating.
I love.
She loves.
Tonight: Occasional rain. Low 46F. Winds SSE at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of rain 70%.
Storm's Forecast
Tonight: Occasional blushing with a 100% chance of happiness. Plentiful clouds for floating.
I love.
She loves.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Pouting
My best friend is missing in action. I miss her, I miss our friendship. I miss being able to talk without explaining or tempering what I say. I miss not having to measure my words. I miss being able to talk through what is on my mind.
We used to talk about everything. Deep conversations, uncomfortable topics, the down-and-dirty truth about whatever was going on with us.
Well, I need a down-and-dirty conversation right now. I need to be able to talk about what is going on in my head right now. I have having a problem with some old wounds that I am not sure how to handle. I don't want old crap to come back and choke the life out of what I have now; how unfair would that be! To have lived through some ugly mess only to let the fear of it ruin something good. But the other side of that is what if I am seeing a warning sign? What if this is telling me that I should pay attention now or else I will be reliving that ugly mess? How can I tell the difference? How do I know?
Why the hell am I trying to figure this crap out alone? I need to talk this out. This is bull, where is she? Ok, I understand, she needs to take care of herself, but...
Isn't there some sort of code for friends, if they are real friends? Should one just disappear?
Is that cool?
And, ok, here's the part where I explain...I understand what it's like to need to take time for myself. I understand that there are times when things are so overwhelming that you can't take time for yourself. I've been there. So, I am not heartless, maybe a bit selfish, but not heartless.
I will be here for her when she comes around, but how do I get this other crap off my chest without having to do an industrial clean-up? Ugh.
We used to talk about everything. Deep conversations, uncomfortable topics, the down-and-dirty truth about whatever was going on with us.
Well, I need a down-and-dirty conversation right now. I need to be able to talk about what is going on in my head right now. I have having a problem with some old wounds that I am not sure how to handle. I don't want old crap to come back and choke the life out of what I have now; how unfair would that be! To have lived through some ugly mess only to let the fear of it ruin something good. But the other side of that is what if I am seeing a warning sign? What if this is telling me that I should pay attention now or else I will be reliving that ugly mess? How can I tell the difference? How do I know?
Why the hell am I trying to figure this crap out alone? I need to talk this out. This is bull, where is she? Ok, I understand, she needs to take care of herself, but...
Isn't there some sort of code for friends, if they are real friends? Should one just disappear?
Is that cool?
And, ok, here's the part where I explain...I understand what it's like to need to take time for myself. I understand that there are times when things are so overwhelming that you can't take time for yourself. I've been there. So, I am not heartless, maybe a bit selfish, but not heartless.
I will be here for her when she comes around, but how do I get this other crap off my chest without having to do an industrial clean-up? Ugh.
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